


Fractured Fate

by tinylittlebrain



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Broke them and hoped they could put everything back together, Childhood Trauma, F/M, Force Bonds, Force dreams, Force-Sensitive Finn, Gratuitous Smut, I shattered them for this story, If I had to pick I'd say Dark Grey Jedi..., Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kylo Ren Pain Train, Kylo Ren has been hardwired wrong, Kylo Ren is Angry, Love as healing, Love as redemption, Love-Starved Rey, Past Leia Organa/Han Solo, Reylo - Freeform, Senator Kylo Ren, Senator Leia Organa, Sentinel Rey, Smut, Touch-Starved Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-26 00:06:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9852968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinylittlebrain/pseuds/tinylittlebrain
Summary: Kylo Ren is a much reviled Force-Sensitive Senator for the New Republic, having defected from the now defunct First Order.Rey is a Jedi Sentinel in name only, trying to understand why the Force is leading her towards a shattered man."Peace is a lie. There is only passion. Through passion I gain strength. Through strength I gain power. Through power I gain victory. Through victory my chains are broken.The Force shall set me free."---tumblr: tinylittlebrain.tumblr.com





	1. Raided.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ChecktheHolonet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChecktheHolonet/gifts), [ReyloRobyn2011](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReyloRobyn2011/gifts).



> I wrote this for ChecktheHolonet and ReyloRobyn2011 - two amazingly talented authors.
> 
> ChecktheHolonet: because I know this kind of pairing gives her life, and her incredible praise drove me to commit more sin.
> 
> ReyloRobyn2011: because we discussed the kind of toll Snoke's abuse might have on Ben, and I wanted to explore that more fully after reading many of your fantastic tumblr posts.
> 
> Please enjoy.

“Senator Ren.”

“Sentinel…”

“Rey.”

Great. Another one. And, as if it wasn’t insulting enough to be raided every second week by the Judiciary of the New Republic, it looked like now they were stooping to sending little girls. Well, if they thought her sweet appearance was enough to tame his temper, they were wrong.

Badly wrong.

“Ren.”

Oh and there was Wexley, along with her, slavering like a dog yet again at the prospect of arresting him.

“What’s the charge this time, Jedi?” He barked waspishly. It was the middle of the night after all.

“Oh, it’s Rey, and _not_ a Jedi… yet… maybe. And there’s no charge. It’s a warrant for a general search.” She showed him her datapad. “For… glitterstim?” The woman glanced around. “Seems unlikely…” She muttered.

Wexley sputtered at that. “Sentinel Rey. This is _Kylo Ren_ , Betrayer of the New Republic – remember your Force tricks won’t work on him.”

_Betrayer of the New Republic._

He didn’t even bother to correct them anymore. Few people outside of the Senate believed that Snoke had ever existed, fewer still that he had defected willingly. To them, he was the face of the First Order, _was_ the First Order. They wanted him dead, like Wexley.

“You have no idea what he’s capable of, Sentinel. My notes–”

 “–I _read_ your notes, Commander.” She nodded. “It seems by your own opinion the Senator is unlikely to be foolish enough to hide a stash of glit in apartments that get raided every other day.”

Kylo blinked. That was new. Usually the Jedi barged in, turned his rooms upside down, roughed him up and left. Despite their code, it seemed they cared little for legality when it came to him.

_With good reason._

But the girl – _Rey_ – inclined her head, as if asking for permission to enter. Kylo nodded. Wexley went to follow, but Rey merely turned to him.

“Thank you so much for the escort Commander Wexley, I believe I’ll be fine now.”

That caught the ghastly man off-guard. “Sentinel, I don’t advise you to be left alone with this man.”

But the girl merely shook her head, tone beatific. “I’ll be quite fine – I imagine a man of your rank has much more important things to attend to than a glit raid.” She paused. “Besides, the warrant only specifies Council attendance, I don’t know if you realise, but escorting me inside would actually be illegal without the Senator’s consent.”

Wexley looked as though he had been slapped. “Of course I know it’s illegal! I–”

“–You just wanted to ensure my safety despite the risks, but I’ll be quite alright.”

She was smooth, very smooth. Kylo began to doubt she was so innocent after all – perhaps she wanted to dole out her own revenge. His body stiffened. There was something dangerous about this girl, he was sure of it.

Wexley sighed, trapped by his own words. “Fine. I’ll await you outside, but know this man is capable of extreme violence, and has been known to attack Jedi before during such searches.”

Rey nodded. The doors shut.

Kylo watched her eyes track the scar on his face, then briefly take in the rest of his body. Unusually for him, he felt heat pulse through him. He hadn’t bothered to put a shirt on, hadn’t planned on his raider being an attractive young woman. But the moment was quickly over, again she was looking at the datapad, tone businesslike.

“Would you like me to go through the warrant in its entirety with you?”

Usually the answer was _yes_ , make them all suffer through hours of irritating legalities while their tempers flared and he proved to them that they too were _not_ Jedi, but it seemed less than necessary in this case. For the moment, she seemed to be reasonable.

“It was sent to me earlier. I’ve read it.”

The girl nodded. “OK. I may as well start in this room then.”

She was remarkably uncowed, just as he was remarkably calm. Still there was a strange tension in the air, and he stood awkwardly as she began to examine various items around the room. Kylo exited briefly to put his shirt on, something he ordinarily would never have done. When he returned, she was studying a shelf, expression unreadable.

Kylo felt compelled to speak. “I’ve never seen you before.” He stuttered out, awkwardly. He thought he knew all of the new Council.

Her back was turned but she answered. “I’ve been away. I’m from Jakku, came to Luke– _Master_ Luke when I was sixteen but I didn’t stay long. I’m back but I don’t know if I’ll stay.” She paused. “I’m not really a Jedi, technically.”

How oddly lenient of his uncl–

_Wait._

“You’re the Kenobi girl, aren’t you?”

 _I sensed you_.

He recalled it then, a few years ago. Asking his uncle about the awakening on Jakku, only for Luke to stare at him long and hard, ask him what he would find there, as if he knew. That had been the last of it as far as he was concerned, apart from approving her emergency citizenship and reading a particularly disturbing medical report about a crushed arm.

“Just Rey.”

“You worked with–”

“Han Solo. Yes.”

Again the tension returned. What was her angle?

“He never mentioned you.”

The scavenger spoke as if she sensed the timbre of his thoughts, and it didn’t ease him. Carefully, Kylo sent a tendril to brush _her_ mind, but even untrained as she allegedly was, she swatted it away.

“Look, I’m here because I was _up_. I haven’t adjusted to the cycle yet and I like Finn’s nose, so I didn’t feel like letting you break it again.”

Shame rushed through Kylo. Last time Wexley had majorly pissed him off and Finn had borne the brunt of that, defending the man. Was she romantically involved with that Jedi?

_Why do you care?_

But Rey had fallen silent, looking through his items with care, consulting her datapad for the correct procedure to conduct her search. It would take hours if she did it this way.

_Good._

“Your predecessors simply cleared the shelves and sorted through the wreckage.”

Rey shook her head. “This is an intrusion already.”

For some reason an AT-AT came to mind. Kylo shook it off. Yes, it was an intrusion, searches always were, and yet it didn’t feel that way tonight. Something about her Force signature was soothing, pulsing against him like a second heartbeat, calming him.

Then she turned, an evil grin on her face. “Besides, it’s freezing outside. I think Wexley could use some cooling down, don’t you?”

Kylo didn’t respond to that, shocked. He’d never encountered anything other than controlled hostility from the Jedi, but this… _scavenger_ was almost being playful. He watched in silence as she reverently went through his belongings, one by one, room by room. It was strange to think she had been a scrap forager in Jakku, so careful was she with his things.

He was more careful than usual too – relaxing, his eyes tracing over her form rather than paying too much attention to what she was doing. It was as if he trusted her to do the right thing, as if he _knew_ her, even as he had just met her for the first time.

He even offered her food.

Rey shook her head. “I shouldn’t. I’m _still_ not great with utensils.”

Again, the weird sensation of promnesia – he knew his father had teased her about that, but not _how_ he knew.

Rey’s stomach growled. She flushed.

“I doubt you could offend _me_.” He paused. “And even if you did my good opinion counts for very little around here… in case you didn’t notice.”

“You being a dirty glit-biter, and everything.” She joked.

_Me being Kylo Ren._

But he smiled, like a moron. “Quite.”

Shortly after, Threepio walked in. His mother’s droid, quite useless and downright irritating generally, but useful in these moments he supposed. And for Mother to spy on him, of course.

“Master B–”

_No._

“–Threepio,” he cut the droid off, “our guest from the Council is hungry. She’ll have…” He gestured to Rey.

“–Fruit. I like fruit. If that’s OK?”

“A platter of fruit.”

“Oh yes! But Senator, were you aware your guest is Rey _Kenobi_? Lady Rey, it is a pleasure to meet you. I knew your grandfather personally, back in–”

“–Our guest is hungry Threepio.”   

Rey’s mouth hung open. “ _That’s_ C3-PO?” She laughed. “C3-PO is getting me fruit.” She spoke wondrously, carefully placing back a large decanter on his desk.

“Any glit?”

“Of course not.” Her tone was slightly irritated as she paused. “I’ll eat before I do the bedroom, though.”

“As you request.”

He almost wished Wexley was inside for this. And yet he didn’t. Rey was going through the desk drawers now, fingers trailing over–

She gasped.

His heart hammered. In her hand, a small ring – an Alderaanian seal, discarded since... her eyes went distant.

_A vision._

“What did you see?” No Jedi had _ever_ had visions in here before.

“I–” Rey shook her head, as if to clear a fog. “It’s nothing… I get visions a lot.”

Kylo didn’t believe that it was nothing, but there was no way to press it right now – it was technically none of his business. Then Threepio entered, and he ushered the girl into her seat.

Rey had not been lying about her eating skills. She handled the fruit as gracefully as she could, but the larger fruits vexed her slightly, juice trailing down her fingers and arm. It struck him then how very beautiful the young woman was, her face was perfectly proportioned and regal at rest. But as she fumbled with the fruits, it was her smile, open and cheeky and shining through her hazel eyes that was truly captivating.

_You are very lovely, little scavenger._

But then, as if to undermine him, Rey immediately made a long and vulgar slurping sound as she attempted, rather clumsily, to partake in a Corellian mango. Even so, Kylo found he didn’t mind – no one, not even his mother, had _ever_ been this relaxed around him. It was a very strange sensation.

“Are you just going to watch me eat?”

Again he felt his face flush.

_What is wrong with you?_

He picked up a grape. “It’s late. I don’t usually eat at this time.”

Now it was her turn to redden. “Of course, I should get back to it. See if I can’t find some spice under your pillow or something.”

 _That’s not what I meant._ He cursed himself.

But the young woman rose and strode into his bedroom. Again, she stopped. His senses flared.

_Familiar. Him. Safe._

Not his thoughts. Hers?

“You had my room in the Falcon.” He realised aloud, hair on his neck standing up.

“Yes…”

_Safe._

Kylo flinched at that. He was not safe. He was the opposite of safe. These strange thoughts were _hers._ This connection wasn’t, he didn’t–

Rey turned rapidly. “You feel it too, don’t you?” Again her eyes raked the scar, tone eager. “ _Why_? Do you know?”

_No._

He panicked. The strange girl was seeing him, seeing past it all. She needed to leave.

“I feel nothing.” He spoke harshly. “Please hurry this up.”

Rey looked as though he’d struck her.

“Fine.”

But now he didn’t trust himself near her. This strange beautiful girl whose Force crashed against his, who felt _safe_ with _him_ , of all people. As if he couldn’t break her in a second, as if he couldn’t…

“I’m going to sit in the lounge.” He announced.

“ _Fine_.” Her tone was acerbic, angered by his denial.

_Good._

He didn’t trust himself near her. Not with this odd tension. Let her rifle through his sheets alone, leave her scent for him to breathe in as he writhed, just like that time in the Falcon when she had…

_Not my thoughts._

Kriff but he hardened at a recollection that wasn’t his, her mind somehow managing to bleed into his own.

_Her. A scavenger._

Kylo clenched his fists, nails digging into his palm. Perhaps he should summon Wexley. The man could do with a new nose. Fortunately however, his bedroom was minimalist, and Rey worked faster in her irritation. She re-entered the lounge.

He was short. “Are you finished?”

“Yes, eight rooms warranted, eight rooms searched.”

Rey walked over to the wall and placed her hand on it. _That wall._ The ninth room. Her eyes met his.

_She knows. How could she know?_

“I guess we’re done here, Senator Ren.” Her tone was ice.

“Leave me.”

“As you wish.”

She left then, and Kylo stood for a time, stunned. Then he raged. Destroyed everything that she did not, everything she touched, _anything_ to cleanse this new weakness.


	2. Longing.

Rey was searching Ren’s apartments, again.

As she entered, the Senator loomed over her, bisected face snarling, bare chest shiny with sweat.

“What are _you_ doing here?”

He was more aggressive this time, but she didn’t care. He didn’t frighten her… if anything, his tone excited her.

He slammed her against the wall, body following to press harshly against her.

“There’s something wrong with you _scavenger_.” He hissed the word like it was filthy. “You should _fear_ me.”

“Why? Because _I_ scare _you_? Because the connect–”

Pressure on her throat.

“THERE IS _NO_ CONNECTION!” He gasped a strangled breath, eyes angry. “Just a foolish girl with a danger fetish. Go find some worthless bounty hunter _scavenger_ ,” he paused, “you don’t realise how out of your depth you are.”

Rey disagreed. So did the Force. So did that pressure emanating from between his l–

Ren laughed harshly. “You think _this_ means something?” He leaned closer then, thrusting against her as his tongue licked her ear lobe. He whispered harshly in her ear. “ _Any_ man would want to fuck _you_ scavenger, that doesn’t mean anything.” His erection pressed against her, the Force binding her.

Ren’s hand dove down then, long fingers snaking past her underclothes to find her–

“So _wet._ ” Kylo let out a choked moan, near a sob.

The connection contracted, flooding her with sensations and images. He was so touch-starved, so steeped in self-loathing, denying himself since the First Orde–

“GET OUT!”

He lurched backwards then, hand still glistening and she bit back a whine at his absence.

“Senator–”

“STAY BACK!” His eyes were murderous.

Still Rey didn’t care, didn’t feel scared. Fuck she was still wet, still _needed_ him. She could feel his arousal through this thing still, knew how fragile his restraint was. She wasn’t about to stay back, had no intention of staying back.

“So this is the great Kylo Ren? Afraid of a girl from Jakku?” She taunted.

Slowly, deliberately, she lowered her own fingers down to her wet cunt, tracing them lightly over herself before removing them to taste herself, fingers trailing down her lips. It was an action she had never done before, and yet somehow, in this space she felt powerful, completely freed by his almost religious desire, his _fear_ of that desire.

Kylo rushed forward again at that, lips crashing against hers and tongue clambering for entry as if she were water and he was a man dying of thirst. Kriff he tasted good, just like she imagined, just like her dreams in that cramped bunk on the Falcon. His hands which had pinned her began to loosen, fingers trailing over her body as if he were trying to gain some kind of purchase on her very being. She moved her hands in time too, fingers trailing over his scars while he shuddered, as if her touch was painful. He ceased his ministrations then, voice almost broken with want.

“Tell me you don’t want this.”

Rey was silent.

“ _Tell. Me._ ”

She felt it then, spiking between want and fear. He wasn’t sure if he could be gentle, didn’t _know_ how to be gentle. Feared himself.

“You don’t tell me what to do.”

_You don't scare me._

He bit her shoulder then, hard enough to bruise, but she keened forward, moaning with the pleasurable mix of pain and desire. Then he had her, bodily holding her before throwing her on his bed, their clothes somehow melting off in the process. _That_ seemed to wind him, his form looming over her like a predator pinning prey, eyes drinking her.

Only she wasn’t prey. Her hand reached down to his cock, pulling it greedily towards her. Kylo smirked, voice low and dangerous.

“So acquisitive _little scavenger_.” He reached a hand down, one hand, and pinned hers above her head. “Didn’t anyone warn you to be careful what you wish for?”

He pushed into her sharply then, rhythm unforgiving and echoing in fleshy slaps in her ears. But she was too excited, almost boneless, and again the pain simply spurred her pleasure, pleasure that Kylo was nearly mindless with.

“Oh Rey, _Rey_. So fucking tight, so fucking _perfect._ ”

His head bowed down then, body crashing against hers while he sucked large bruises against her neck, his free hand curling in her hair to bring it backwards for his tongue to seek out her ear again.

“Is this what you wanted scavenger? Does it turn you on, fucking a _monster_?”

Oh kriff, he was making her _wetter_ , fucking her harshly into the mattress as she looked into his eyes balefully, challengingly. She still needed that extra pressure.

Rey laughed then, breathy and low. “Is that the best you have Ren?” She gasped it out, her voice high pitched and wanting.

It seemed to both enrage and excite him. He pulled out of her and her cunt spasmed, and she whined for him again. But before she knew what was happening Kylo flipped her onto all fours, cock slamming into her once more, his hand resting at the nape of her neck.

“Oh Fuck!”

She felt him shudder then, arrhythmically.

_Too close._

His pace slowed slightly and Rey became aware that that was _his_ thought, that she had sunk into his mind again.

_Want to see her come on my cock first._

Oh fuck, she nearly did, just at that.

But his hand released from her neck, angled so that she felt it replaced on her lower back while the other traced past her belly button and down…

_Oh._

He felt her clench and his hand stopped, pleased to have found the right spot. The heat began to pool then, rising and rising before it abruptly stopped. Rey keened against him. Whined.

“Perhaps I should leave you wanting scavenger.” He growled, still slapping into her. “Remind you what a stupid fucking idea this is.”

She turned then, angled her head to see his face.

_So beautiful._

His thought’s again, echoing her own. She canted backwards, drove herself onto him. Kylo let out a strangled gasp, his eyes remaining on hers. His fingers moved again.

“ _You will look at me when you come_.”

Force Suggestion. Not really enough to coerce but she didn’t really feel like fighting it. If her “monster” needed to feel wanted, she could give him that, besides it was not going to take long, not when he was pressing that spot so urgently, not when he was talking like he was.

“Need to see you come, Rey, _fuck._ Need you to come on my cock.”

Oh kriff the pressure was unbearable and she felt him falter, stiffening yet more to rub her inside as well, until she–

“OH _FUCK!_ I’m coming Kylo, your big cock is making me com– Oh _Ben_!”

It was too much. Her brain was short circuiting, dimly she felt him register that name, but he too was past caring, spurting into her with abandon, nails digging into her ass. Her ears rung.

And rung.

And rung.

And…

_A dream._

Her door.

_Shit._

“Rey?”

_Finn._

Oh kriff. She grabbed her dressing gown and ran to the door.

“Rey! Are you OK? I heard you took my shift last night? Did that creep try and beat you up too?”

_Huh?_

“No. I just searched his rooms and… that was it really.”

_Liar._

Kylo Ren was extremely hated in the academy. He’d struck down several Jedi in service for Snoke, and many did not believe it was solely in self-defence. It would be unwise to reveal any kind of connection with him, let alone that she was having _those_ sorts of dreams. _Again_.

“Did you feel that thing he does?”

Rey flushed. “What _thing_?”

“That… emptiness thing. You know how it’s like tracing a void – like you don’t even get a sense of his thoughts?”

… _No?_

If anything Ren's had been the most open mind she’d ever read – a tumult of thoughts and emotions leaking forth from a broken mind, one she couldn’t help but subconsciously seep into, almost as if she knew him.

_You do know him._

Parts of him, at least. The Millenium Falcon was like a kriffing vision trap, and it seemed like every other day she would have visions of him, feel his angst and rage as his parents fought, the pressure of Snoke on his mind, the loneliness of his existence. It hadn’t taken her long before she recognised the presence, the one she had felt across time – a man, tortured in her dreams in Jakku, a soothing presence that day her arm was trapped in the Ravager, the day she felt she would die. Yes, it was _Kylo Ren’s_ Force signature that enveloped her, gave her the strength to break her arm and dislodge herself, gave her the strength to _survive_.

But she had denied it, even then.

Denied for some time until that day at Maz’s, when the emptiness was almost devouring her. The little humanoid had known that, somehow, eyed her carefully and waited for Han and Chewie to leave before she approached.

“I see your eyes - you already know the truth. The belonging you seek is not ahead of you, it is behind. You are running from it.”

_Running from him._

Two days later she had told Han she was heading back, and the look he had given her, the warning… she almost wondered whether he _knew_ too.

“Be careful kid. Chewie loves you too much to see you do something stupid.”

Then she had come back. Her room was there, would always be there thanks to her last name, although she could see confusion in her old Master’s eyes, concern. Two strong students, both lost to him.

But then she had been lost. She still didn’t know what it meant. What the belonging _was_ – she was hardly foolish enough to believe her dreams either. Surely the Force had greater things in mind than _that._

So she merely waited. Knew from her training that Ren was constantly raided, constantly at odds with those who still bore a grudge against him. It upset her that he had broken Finn’s nose, but she understood better than he what was actually going on. Understood Snoke’s bloody influence, understood what it was like to grow up believing no one ever loved you…

“Rey?”

_Oh shit Finn._

How long had she drifted?

“Don’t worry – it messed me up a little too. Hard to deal with that level of Darkness.”

Rey nodded dumbly. She really needed the fresher.

“I need a shower.”

Finn nodded. Understanding. Always so understanding.

“I’ll see you at mess – it’s lunchtime, actually.”

Rey agreed to meet him, but once she was clean she found herself ushered away from Finn by Master Luke. She gave him an apologetic look, but he just grinned and jerked his head towards Poe. That was odd… if Poe was here, then that must mean…

_The Senator._

_The_ Senator. In Luke’s chambers sat Senator Organa-Solo, wife of Han Solo, mother of–

“–Rey Kenobi. It is a pleasure to meet you. My family owes yours a great deal.”

She knew the stories of course, from Master Luke. This was the first time she’d met the Princess in person though, instead of in a group or in attendance at the same event. Of course, Luke had receded, leaving her alone with her wretch Jakkuan manners. Rey flushed.

_Say something._

“Thank you.” It was asinine she knew, but it was the best she could do on the fly.

The Princess seemed not to notice. “I understand you saw my son last night.”

Her heart hammered. “I… I was awake when Wexley came by. I understand I’m still technically a member of the Council, so–”

“I’m not her to admonish you Rey.” Leia’s voice was gentle.

_Then why?_

“Threepio said my son ordered you fruit.”

Rey flushed. “I was hungry.”

Leia nodded. “He said my son allowed you to search his rooms for hours, peacefully.”

“We didn’t leave on the best terms.” Rey interjected – recalling the rage that followed her out the door.

_So angry._

“But you don’t fear my son, do you Rey? You don’t hate him?”

What was with this family and their weird perception? Her fingers curled in her lap.

“No. I don’t.” She spoke honestly.

Leia leant back for a second, eyes appraising.

_The same eyes._

Rey couldn’t meet them after that.

“I dislike seeing my son constantly victimised by his enemies, Rey.” She paused. “And my brother tells me you do not intend to be active in the Council.”

“No.”

Leia looked taken aback.

“What you’re asking. No.”

_You’re not the only one who has perception._

“I can’t guard Kylo Ren.”

Silence. The Princess still looked calculating. Rey shivered.

“I call him Ben.”

_He’s not Ben. Not anymore._

But Rey still nodded dutifully.

Leia continued. “What about simply being on standby? Surely you must agree that it’s ideal for incidents like Finn’s not to occur?”

Oh that was manipulative. Typical Leia… well, at least according to Han. Also typical Leia – the idea made perfect sense. Who better really to do the raids? And she’d be lying if she didn’t want to see him again, didn’t need more time to try and figure out what this... _connection_ meant.

Still, no need for _her_ to know that.

“What’s the pay?”

The Princess laughed then. An actual laugh, long and mirthful and reaching her eyes.

“How _is_ Han going?”


	3. Something Worse.

Three weeks. Three weeks before Threepio attended his bedroom, informed him that there had been another ‘credible tip’. Weapons this time. Kyber crystals.

Not like he cared, he just hoped…

_Her._

Kylo felt her behind the door before he opened it, just like he felt her always now – could point his body in any direction and move in a straight line, knowing she’d be at the end of the thread.

_A tether, a chain._

He couldn’t see her _now_. Not now she’d burrowed into his head so far that his nights were filled with their lurid rutting, his days with longing.

Still he opened the door. He had to.

_Rey._

It was worse than he imagined. Like he couldn’t breathe. She wasn’t even in her robes, those mercifully billowing things that hid all manner of sins. No, she was in a dress, straps meeting at her collar bones, tight around the bust only to flow outward to meet the middle of her slim calves. Her hair cascaded down her shoulders, swept artfully to frame her face. Kylo could see the lines where her freckles stopped, where not even the Jakku sun had touched. She was young and beautiful and whole and he was this scarred broken thing that had no business daring to touch her, even in his dreams.

“I came from the ball.”

Oh the ball. The Senatorial tribute to the Jedi Council. He’d skipped it, for obvious reasons. Besides he had three treaties to draft.

“You’re alone.”

“Wexley’s drunk. As are most of the Jedi. And the majority of the Senate.”

He nodded. “Well this should be far quicker. Jedi can sense Kyber crystals.”

“They can.” She paused. “The warrant is for _any_ Kyber crystals.” She glanced towards the wall. “I’m to inspect any to see if they match the signatures of those shipped from the Outer Rim.”

_That’s not for you, little scavenger._

His ire rose. “You know that crystal isn’t a match.”

“ _How_ do I know, exactly, Senator?” Rey stepped towards him, Kylo stepped back.

_You know how._

He willed himself not to remember his dreams. A monster steeped in violence and lust, claiming her.

_Mine._

“Do whatever Rey, just do it quick. I’m tired.”

_Hate me darling, hate me._

She bristled, he felt it. But she turned to the wall, working the mechanism like it was nothing, like it had not totally eluded countless Jedi before her. The small chamber creaked open, coldness emanating from his relics of darkness. His grandfather’s mask, the lightsabers, the holocrons.

Her Force never faltered.

“You’re _still_ not afraid.” He meant it to be derisive, but he could hear the awe taint his tone.

“Holocrons…” she murmured, hands brushing across them before speaking again. “The Force is the Force Senator. I don’t believe in taking it apart to suit some code. I take it as it is, rework it as I need it to be.”

“How very scavenger-like.” He spat.

Her calm upset him. The ease by which she channel the force irked him.

_Nothing is so easy._

But Rey spoke again. “You kept them, why?”

“Why did you keep that flower in your AT-AT? Why do great generals build ancestral houses?” Kylo paused. “Only we who have seen the worst of life truly understand what beauty is.”

_You Rey, it is you._

The Sentinel flinched at the reference to her flower, but recovered enough to nod. She was reaching now for the lightsaber – a poorly designed, misshapen and blemished thing, like its owner. But she was slow, gingerly in her approach. Sucking in a breath as she touched it.

The moment broke.

He laughed, cruelly. “Expecting a vision, were we?”

His tone belied his curiosity. Even if that hadn’t triggered one, Kylo knew she had _seen_ him. Had visions of _him_. That Rey wasn’t scared of him because she knew how pathetic he was – saw him as nothing but weakness. She knew that this room was all he could ever be now.

His fists curled.

“It’s cracked.” The scavenger remarked.

Rey rolled the crystal around in her fingers, and he swore he could feel it on his skin. Burning. Her face was bathed in a dim red light, beautiful and yet oddly dissonant.

She needed to leave.

“We are _done_ here, miss Kenobi.”

She almost dropped the crystal, so enthralled was she. But, still she reconstructed the saber perfectly, and placed in back on its stand. Then the mask caught her attention.

_Vader._

Her thoughts in his head… _again._

_Too close._

“Don’t touch that.”

But she didn’t obey. _Couldn’t_ obey. His little scavenger.

He felt the moment snap then. Felt her gasp before she did, could almost see the edges of a vision. _Of course_ she would see what he had not. Oh how that _enraged_ him, even as he moved to catch her as she fell.

The vision had been intense, had made her pass out briefly. Kylo used the opportunity to bring her back to the sitting room, away from the Darkness. When she came to seconds later, tears were in her eyes.

“I saw him.”

“ _Tell me_.”

Kylo breathed, desperate to know, still leaned in close to her face hand stroking her jaw. He hadn’t even noticed.

“My grandfather.”

_Her grandfather._

The one _his_ grandfather killed.

“He killed him.”

No doubt then about what exactly she’d seen, but just so, he envied her even that gruesome knowledge. It was more than he'd ever been privy to.

“That’s the first time I’ve ever _seen_ him! And I see… I see–”

“– _That’s_ the first time? _Everyone_ sees Kenobi.”

The words were out of his mouth before he even had time to check them, before he felt how intense her anguish was. Before he realised her connection to _him_ was probably responsible for Obi Wan’s absence. You couldn’t see the Light if you shackled it to Darkness.

**_Slap_ **

Clearly Rey’s mind wasn’t nearly so slow, and he felt her horror through her Force.

She was angry. _So_ angry. So angry she wanted to kill him in that moment. So angry she went for another slap, but he grabbed her hand before it could connect again. His other hand was still on her face, stroking it as his knee leaned into the couch between her thighs, restraining her.

“What are you going to _do_ , little scavenger, _kill_ me?”

Fuck, why could he not stop touching her? It was like her skin was branding him, searing into him like hot lava filling a very cold place. Kylo expected Rey to jerk or push him away, but she too seemed momentarily transfixed by his thumb on her face, as if somehow, she also found it soothing. He felt her body relax under his weight.

Surrendering? No something else. Something worse.

Her eyes were focused on his lips, and before he could tighten his grip the small hand he held in his wrist moved to mirror the action on _his_ face. He stifled a whimper. Pathetic to react this way to a mere touch, he should rake his nails down her, bite her, mark her– _anything_ to make this stop.

But Rey’s other hand encircled his on her face, and she made a comforting shushing sound before speaking.

“Don’t be afraid.” She murmured, confused herself. “I feel it too.”

He could feel her then, wanting him to acknowledge this… this–

_Force Bond, you know it is._

_No._

There was _no_ connection. She was a fucking beautiful woman and he _wanted_ her because he’d always wanted what he wanted and he’d never had any impulse control. That was what _this_ was, that was _all_ this was.

Still, he felt her rifling through him, trying to understand. It wasn’t like Snoke, didn’t pierce his vision, didn’t make him want to die, it was like small feathers rushing over his thoughts, trying not to get too saturated.

“You're so lonely. So afraid to love.” Rey’s eyes were distant, her voice reverent. “At night, desperate to sleep. You imagine…”

_You._

No, he couldn’t allow her to see _that_. See how fucking puerile and weak he was, see how badly he wanted her, how primal his need was. Kylo pushed her physically away from him, enraged.

“GET OUT OF MY HEAD!”

He used the Force then, pinned her against the wall, couches flying akimbo as he moved his face inches from her.

“You’re _foolish_ , little scavenger.” He spat. “You beg for affection from broken things, like that pathetic doll you kept.”

His words hurt her he realised, badly.

_Good._

She was hurting him. Making him _ache_. Making him die a little inside every time he woke up after one of _those_ dreams. Making him think for an instant that somehow life could be like that, that he could somehow be controlled enough to ever possess something like her without utterly destroying both of them.

A single tear rolled down her cheek.

_I’m so sorry for what he did to you._

Rey slumped as the Force abated as if she’d cut him, her thoughts ringing in his head like a bell. She should be terrified, horrified. Not… this. Not pitying him, not opening up every part of him till his blood coated her red. He almost wanted to shake her, but he’d have to touch her again, be weak _again._ Weak to this… _girl_ who was his absolute worst nightmare and his most desperate of dreams.

“It not your fault you know.” She whispered quietly, knowing the storm would come regardless. “You didn’t deserve any of it.”

From the ninth room, his saber flew into his hand. He lit it.

“Leave now, Rey.”

_Or I will kill you._

For once, she did as she was told. Kylo felt fear then, though he could not tell for whom. Rey ran.

_Good. Run from Kylo Ren..._

No.

_Kylo Ren would not have driven her away._

He began slashing wildly around the apartment. Tore it and himself to pieces until the exhaustion took him.

He slept after that, both thankful and desolate that she did not return to him in that realm, thankful his subconscious no longer wished to torture him so sweetly. Even so, her voice picked at him.

_You don’t scare me._

His mother arrived the next morning.

He knew she would. Felt her and his uncle’s alarm last night as he tapped so violently into the Force. Felt her guilt concerning him, concerning Kenobi.

“Mother.”

He knew he looked a wreck. Knew the apartments looked it. Still the older woman strode into it as if it were a palace, seating herself on the burnt remnants of a chaise. He sat crouched over on the ground, knees up and legs crossed, his head hidden between them.

“Ben.”

_Ben._

He mocked himself in lieu of the Supreme– of Snoke. He felt his mother’s heart break a little more. At least she could but scratch the surface, couldn’t tear him to shreds like that girl could.

“I don’t know how to help you.”

“So you thought you’d give me to the Kenobi girl, because that worked so well last time.”

It was petty, so petty. Kylo knew it too. Knew nothing could have stopped the Supreme Leader, his fall. Knew he was doomed from his very existence, inside her womb. Still, he felt her recoil with the sting of it. It didn’t matter what she had or hadn’t done – she looked at his scarred body and felt the wounds as if she’d inflicted them.

“I thought you’d be civil to her. That she would not be so galling for you.”

That was _some_ of the truth.

He began to move. “I need to get changed. I have drafts to present–”

“I recessed early. Used the Lorrdian delegation as cover. Everyone’s hungover from the ball, so it’s hardly gratuitous.”

_Always two steps ahead._

Some repair droids whizzed by him.

_Three steps ahead._

What a bitter disappointment he was.

“I can send her away Ben, if you can’t bear her. She could go back to Han.”

_Yes, pack her back up with the rest of the junk we can’t bear to see._

“A fine way to repay our debt to the Kenobis.” He spat. “She won’t be back.”

But even as he said it he knew somehow it wasn’t true, that his mother did also. Kylo felt it then, a small pocket of his mother’s thoughts, wondering how to effect Rey’s departure as soon as possible. He slammed down on it.

“Don’t. Just don’t.”

_I hate her. I need her._


	4. Between Destiny and Reality.

Rey’s dreams troubled her.

At first she had not dreamed of him, or at least like _that,_ perhaps because she had not wanted to. Perhaps because _he_ did not want to. It had hurt though, seeing Obi Wan, hearing Ren’s surprise. Yes, Obi Wan appeared to everyone but to her? His only grandchild? His only grandchild who _longed_ for a family?

No, of course not.

Luke had comforted her once, told her Obi Wan generally appeared to young children. Said that he spoke of her fondly, that he loved her, would see her if he could but appear. But Rey couldn’t help but feel the sting of rejection, even now, so many years later. Her parents had left her there to avert some terrible fate but it still felt as though no one wanted her, no one had wanted her to fulfil her destiny and therefore whoever she truly was meant to be had been lost in the sands of Jakku.

She had been pondering this before she slept, but was surprised to find herself not dreaming of sand but naked in his bed… _again_.

“ _Rey_.” He sounded surprised.

Rey shut her eyes, tears rolling hot down her cheeks.

_Not tonight._

She refused to believe this was what the Force intended for her to be, just some kind of tempering influence to Kylo Ren’s violence.

Another doll for her to lavish her wasted heart on.

_I didn’t mean that Rey. Forgive me, forgive me for so many things my darling._

Oh she ached for _this_ Ren, the one her foolishly compassionate subconscious concocted. The man who feared and yet allowed himself to want something, even as he struggled to understand it. But even still, he wasn’t for her, not tonight. Not when she felt this vulnerable.

Ren still grabbed her.

Rey stiffened, unsure how to react. She’d never been anything other than willing in her dreams before, but she dreaded the horrors her mind might concoct now that she was not.

But the rough pull she expected never came, and Ren froze too as if unsure what to make of _this_ Rey. Instead he released his grip and his fingers stroked her wrist lightly, other hand wrapping around her body to pull her flush against him. They lay there for some time, his fingers stroking her hair.

_This is worse._

So much worse to think he could ever be so loving, ever feel this way without the ghost of Snoke twisting inside his mind. Even so, heat began to pool within her once more. It always did when they were this close.

“ _Rey_.”

She turned over then, wanting to see his expression, but it wasn’t Kylo Ren.

_Ben Solo._

She beheld the man before her, expression easy and unmarred by a great slash, body pristine and unspoiled. She was different too she realised. Body and breasts fuller, less freckled and pale as white sand.

_Rey Kenobi._

Actually Rey _Kenobi_ , not merely the vessel of related blood she was now. They were both beautiful creatures, luminous and whole and she could not bear it.

_I am not Rey Kenobi. You are not Ben Solo._

Oh it pained her though, to push him away. His expression saddened, and he reached out and ghosted his fingers over her face. So gentle. Too gentle for Kylo Ren. This was _someone’s_ belonging maybe, but it was not _hers._

_I cannot linger._

But then he spoke.

“It doesn’t matter here. Here we can be who we were meant to be.”

_Who we were meant to be._

There was an undeniable truth to that, Rey realised then, the Force drawing together disparate pieces, trying to tie together an already shattered destiny.

“It was us. Wasn’t it?” She asked. “It’s meant to be us.”

She allowed ‘Ben’ to draw her closer, allowed his tender touch, even as she felt how carefully schooled it was, how tentative. She and him, together.

_Rey and Ben Solo, or is it Rey and Kylo Ren?_

Ben Solo was with her now, curled into her and peppering the sweetest of kisses against her neck. Murmuring in her ear. Was it him? Surely not. Here they were complete. Maybe that was the issue, maybe they were two broken pieces in another time, another place, steeped in Darkness.

_What did we do?_

Ben stroked her hair, but Kylo spoke. “I don’t know. But we would have been a _masterpiece_ Rey. Whatever it was.”

She knew he meant it in the truest sense. Masterpieces that _broke_ their makers, beautiful and enthralling even as they tore the galaxy asunder. He was over her now, head dipped as he laved the skin just above her breasts, hands ghosting over her flesh.

“You would have loved me.”

It was a horrid, needy thing to say, she knew. But it was safe here, in the recesses of her mind.

Nails dug into her skin, the façade flashed. For a second, he was Kylo angry and hungry and wanting. But then the grip softened, fingers soothing over the crescent marks. His arousal pressed lightly over her arousal, but he didn’t move It further, just _pressed_ into her. She sucked in breath.

“You shouldn’t _want_ my love.”

He regarded her like she was so foreign to him. Something he didn’t understand as he used her shoulder to lean up over her then rest beside her head, his other hand lowering itself to brush her glistening folds.

“Still so _wet_.”

He said it reverently, like always, like he couldn’t believe each time that she could possibly want him so badly, _need_ him like this.

She felt him tearing through her mind, looking for something she couldn’t quite get a grip on, before finding it. Her, sprawled on her blankets on the floor of the AT-AT during X'us'R'iia, pleasuring herself to pass some of the endless time. Rey pushed him away then, body flushing red. But Ben simply smirked at her. He had what he needed.

Slowly, too slowly for words, he slipped a finger gently inside her, followed by another. He curled them then, hit that spot and knew it, kriff it, because she _keened_ , bucked into him. Rey tried to lift her head to his face, to meet his lips, but it was too much effort in the position he was in. But he leaned down, forehead to forehead, gracing her with the lightest of kisses. Holding back. It broke with a moan as he curled his fingers again.

“Does that feel good, Rey?”

“Yes.” She gasped. “Yes!”

He leant up then, hand moving one of her legs over his shoulder has he moved down her body. Soon that hand too drifted towards her lips, began to pressure her clit.

“What about that?”

“Ungh, _yes_!”

She knew he could _feel_ what it felt like, could see her cheeks redden, her face tightening, and yet…

_You don’t understand do you? It doesn’t feel real to you. That I could want you._

Ben stopped. The scar across his face flashed.

_She’s mocking me. She thinks I’m–_

“ _DON’T STOP_.” She begged. Coerced.

_Please don’t stop, never stop._

That seemed to settle him, and the scar faded again as she started to mewl, whine with every movement, feeling herself tighten around those fingers. He added another.

_Fuck!_

“Are you going to come for me Rey? Come all over my hand?”

_So beautiful._

His thoughts again? She was slamming himself onto him now, fucking herself on him as her own fingers dug into the mattress beside her.

“I’m so close, I’m going to–”

“Come for me, _Rey_.”

And she did, all wonton moans and spasming and fucking _gushing_. Her mind an incoherent mess of want and lust.

“Ben…”

His eyes never left her as she rode through it, bereft of that hunted look and something closer to stupefaction, surprised at how powerful that felt.

Rey was about to comment when she jumped – noticed her body was back to its normal self, less fleshy now, more sun-worn. She’d come like that she realised, as Broken Rey.

“I prefer you like that.” He spoke. “Like you are. For me.”

_My Rey._

She expected him to extricate his fingers then, to plunge into her, _wanted_ him to. But he didn’t. instead he began to massage her clit again, touch tentative until the sensitivity died down and began to burn her again, slightly faster this time, more urgent, more Kylo. She could see it in him, skin undulating between destiny and reality. It did not matter.

It especially did not matter when he lowered his head to her cunt, tongue tasting her, hesitant at first, before a cant of her hips seemed to wipe out all insecurity.

_Fuck._

His tongue was _masterful_. Perhaps an offshoot of feeding on her mind, but fuck it if she could find it in herself to care in this moment. It was just the perfect amount of movement, of friction, of _him_.

_Not perfect enough._

“Kylo, please fuck me, _please_.” She nearly screamed it.

He chuckled into her then, the vibration jolting her pleasurably. He was totally Kylo now, Ben melting off him as he attacked her cunt with his tongue. But he obeyed her, pulling away, arm wiping the excess fluid from his mouth.

She felt it then, the nerves. How excited he was from her pleasure, how _close_. How he feared she would mock him, reject him. How he feared his own lack of control.

“I want you to come inside me Kylo.” Her voice trembled.

He seized her leg with that, but, once again, he surprised her, easing into her.

“ _Fuck._ ”

He gasped, moving slowly in and out, trying to establish some pace that wouldn’t devastate him. It probably didn’t help that she had ascended into that relaxed yet somehow taut state where _everything_ felt amazing, just right yet not quite enough. Past caring, about anything.

“Your cock feels so good.” She moaned.

His teeth clenched, and she felt him spasm, rhythm interrupted as he tried to get a hold of himself. It spurred her on, _excited_ her.

“So big– ngh, fuck me _harder_.”

Her leg was still over his shoulder, flesh slapping noisily.

“ _Rey_.” He warned.

Oh kriff he was so close and she could feel, it, brushing in just the right spot.

“I’m going to come Kylo, you’re going to make me c-”

_Oh fuck._

That was it. She felt him stiffen inside her and she toppled over the cliff with him, pleasure mixing just as surely as she felt him jetting hotly inside her. He collapsed then, quivering as she held him. She kissed him deeply, fingers stroking his hair as she tightened herself and felt him lurch again. Raked the hand over his scarred torso and felt wonder that this was Kylo Ren, and yet not quite.

 _Only for you_. _Only here._

Again the ache came, dulled somewhat by his presence in her arms.

_Ben Solo._

Maybe, if she could coax this out of him, remind him somehow…

But Ben was above her again, face sad as he flickered between himself and the man he became.

_No darling. This man is dead. He was never allowed to exist. I had to kill him. I couldn’t–_

She felt it then, the shift. The shying from love. Love had hurt him so badly.

“Kylo…”

_You can’t fix this, scavenger._

But he was slipping away. This dream was over.

_Let me teach you._

Though in truth she barely knew love herself.

Later, she sought out her old Master, pleasantries abounding awkwardly until he sighed and asked her please, what did she want from him.

“Do you think we can fix people?”

_Or do you think we are broken, forever?_

He was maybe an odd person to ask, but then again, he had forgiven Vader, hadn’t he? But she saw him sag in resignation even as she asked.

_I know, you wanted better for me._

“I think we can help people, show them they can change.” He paused. “But _they_ have to be the ones to change Rey, make no mistake about that.”

She frowned then. “ _Snoke_ changed him.”

He nodded. “Just as Jakku changed you. But when we love someone, truly love them, we love them for who they _are_ , not who they were or who they could be. Otherwise we don’t love them, we love an idea, we love ourselves – _that_ is the way to the Darkside.”

Luke sighed.

“Even so, I wouldn’t have chosen this path for you Rey.”

She seized on that. “Would you have chosen the other path?”

Luke jolted then. Internally. She felt it.

“Never _._ ”

_But we would have been a masterpiece_


	5. Melt into One.

Kylo’s back ached, his face gaunt.

It was always rough in the Senate, worse when your own words were echoed back to you in a pale imitation of your own passion. Such was the fate of The Disgraced Son.

His mother had only just let him go, so concerned she threatened to send for Han if he didn’t get better soon. It had been just over two months, but he was withering and dying without her Light, the dreams his only respite. He once even considered actually smuggling some glitterstim, if only to provoke her presence.

_Then what?_

Yes, then what? Go through the whole thing again, and again. Until one of them killed each other, until hopefully she her killed him. The thread was thicker now, like a long rope that tugged back and forth, occasionally jolting when she deigned to pull on it. Kylo ignored it. She was mocking him, lording her power over him, and he wouldn’t allow that, even as he longed for her so completely. No, if this was to be his final torture it would be shackled to his subconscious – to Dream Rey.

_You are so pathetic._

Undoubtedly. Yet still he fancied that his self-loathing made that Rey achingly realistic, with the one obvious exception that she actually _wanted_ him, gave him everything as if he deserved it, as if he didn’t sicken her like everyone else, as if he hadn’t been so cruel to her. Even so, it was not the same as her searing touch, but it was the closest he would ever get. Kylo prepared himself for oblivion again.

And there she was, sweet and… injured.

 _That_ was unusual. A long, angry looking bruise trailing all the way down her thigh to her knee, all the way down her ankle. Fuck it hurt too, pain butterflying down his own leg as his fingers traced it curiously.

“I fell down the stairs.”

It was a lie, he could taste it in the air. Yet for some reason, it didn’t enrage him.

“You have the Force. We don’t fall down stairs.” He murmured, lips trailing down the other leg.

It still amazed him that he could be like this, even here. Compassion was a weakness, yet here in this inverted space it felt different somehow, like strength.

“I fainted.” She whispered. “Are you getting weaker too?”

Kylo raised his lips then, looked her in the eyes. Stars, how perfectly real she looked, _seemed_. Eyes questioning and concerned.

Still, it explained the bruise and the cuts. Evidently his subconscious was projecting his own pitiful decline onto _her_ –  how appropriately selfish of him. Still Kylo answered, and answered truthfully.

“Yes.”

_I am weak._

“I don’t know what to do.” 

Rey was frightened. He pulled her closer then, at a loss himself. She breathed him in.

_Safe. Like on the Ravager._

Fuck he hated when she did this, when _he_ did this. Hated himself more for this infantile hero fantasy he obviously _needed._

 _You’re so disgusting Ren._ He admonished.  _You have never saved anyone._

“I’m going.”

The room began to fade as he willed himself to wake.

But dream Rey clung to him. “No, don’t– I don’t understand! _Please don't leave me_. Why do you have to leave?”

Because he had to, because even as a fucking d _ream_ Rey deserved better than that self-serving narcissistic tripe. Kylo sickened himself.

_No sleep. Again._

He would kneel before Vader, pray to his altar of self-hatred until this moment passed and the weakness receded. But his datapad beeped.

Raid warrant. Spice – General search.

It took but a few minutes to sense Wexley outside.

_Not her then._

Kylo didn’t know whether he felt good or bad about the fact she had not orchestrated the raid. Still, he could feel her use the rope, navigating her speeder to him before using Force coercion on Wexley, presumably to expedite the vile man’s departure. Good. Already, he felt better than he had in months, being this close.

_Let her search and let her leave._

He opened the door for her before she could press the entrance.

“R–” he caught himself, “... _Sentinel._ ”

“Senator.”

Rey looked… unwell. She was wearing loose pants and a long sleeve shirt, over which hung a loose…

“Are you wearing _bedclothes_ , Sentinel?”

“Yes.” Her tone was flat. “I was sleeping.”

Stars though, she was absolutely exhausted. He could feel it, weighing down on him.

_Still so beautiful._

Even now, even like this.

“You’re drugged.” He realised.

She nodded. “Yes.” She sighed. “You feel it, don’t you?”

_You mock me, you always mock me._

“I think I need caff.” She announced abruptly.

_Fine._

Anything to get further away from her, to stop the prickly sensation that pulsed in his fingertips. Kylo stalked to the kitchen. One cup of caff was not worth rousing that blabbering droid.

When he returned though, he nearly crushed the cup. Rey was asleep, snoring on the couch as if it were the most normal thing in the world, as if he hadn’t torn its predecessor to shreds the last time she was here.

She shivered. Cold.

_Of course._

Taunting him, even now. Kylo moved to wake her, but as he moved closer her expression enraptured him, and he found himself collecting her in his arms and placing her in his bedroom, loathe to activate the droid and have him set up the second room before running straight to his mother. Threepio had no idea how lucky he was for his Maker on days like today. But Rey stirred, wrapping her arms around his neck, sweet scent of jasmine and sweat assaulting him.

_You ruin me._

His nose was against her neck now and he felt both like sobbing into it or biting her viciously. Instead he tried to place her down, but she didn’t let go, shuddering into him when her leg hit the mattress.

_Pain._

Shit. He must have hit her knee against the doorway, distracted by her proximity. He was leaning over her now, still unable to extricate herself from her grip. Nonetheless he freed one hand from underneath her, able to bend down and pull up her loose pants from her ankle.

Then he saw it – gasped, unable to exhale.

There was a long purple bruise that snaked down to her ankle trailing up past the area her bedclothes cut it off. He'd seen it before. Kylo’s fingers traced her skin and his hands _burned_ with the contact, eyes trying to reject the facsimile, mind trying to discard it. An offshoot of the Bond, his mind filling in the blanks.

_No._

It was a lie. It had to be. This was not _her_. She was not his.

“Rey,” He spoke aloud, did not care if she woke again. Needed her off him – she scorched him so badly. “What happened to your leg?”

Her arms tightened around him, her voice breathless, still between sleeping and waking.

“I _told_ you. I fainted… stairs.” She mumbled. “Lie _down_ Kylo, I’m sleepy.”

_Safe. Right._

Her narcotic thoughts echoed in his head, and Kylo was panicking, heart hammering in his chest.

_Not safe. Never safe._

But Rey’s hand moved from his neck to stroke his face and he felt that calm, familiar from that first raid, her heart beating to slow his, her drugged mind enveloping him. He felt himself relax, felt himself dare to _hold_ her, her sigh in his ear _breaking_ him as he allowed one leg to slide gingerly between hers, careful not to brush that snaking bruise.

_Don’t fight it Kylo. Please don’t fight it._

He didn’t, couldn’t, her lethargic awareness bearing down on his and he realised how tired he was too, how feeble he’d been without her.

So Kylo Ren slept, Rey Kenobi in his arms.

**_Knock Knock Knock_ **

Kylo jerked awake.

_Rey._

The girl was still curled next to him. His mind cast out.

_Wexley. Finn._

Had the scavenger planned this, framed him? Seduced him so he could be caught assaulting an innocent young Jedi? Beside him, Rey stirred. Kylo moved slightly to prepare, but it was too late, Finn burst into the room, yellow saber in hand, expression one of _fury._

“REY!”

Rey gasped awake. The younger man spotted Kylo’s arm around her and his rage _spiked_.

“WHAT DID HE DO TO YOU REY? I SWEAR I WILL _KILL_ HIM!”

A saber was at his throat.

_None of us are Jedi, none of us._

“FINN _NO_!” She threw herself on him then, bodily. Put herself between him and Finn's blade, crashing Kylo's head against the bedhead. “Don’t hurt him!” Rey begged.

Finn faltered, but he lowered his saber. “Rey, what are you doing here?” His voice was low, dangerous.

“I– I stayed! I _wanted_ to stay.”

The Jedi's face contorted into a mixture of betrayal and disgust, and Kylo felt what that did to her, felt her grieve for the only friend she’d felt she’d ever had. The one she'd knew she'd lose irrevocably because of _him_.  _For_ him.

But Finn still did not quite believe. “Rey if he did anything, _anything._ You don’t have to sta–”

“She’s under the influence of the Force, Sentinal! She needs to be extrac–”

Kylo choked Wexley.

_Shut the fuck up._

Light fingers on his cheek.

_Please don’t do that._

Rey, pulsing in him. Rey, worried he would damage himself further, as if such a thing was possible. Even so, he relented.

Wexley coughed, voice spluttering. “I’ll see you _DEAD_ for that Ren, DEA–”

But now it was Rey who reached out. “ _YOU WILL LEAVE HERE WEXLEY_!” She spoke through clenched teeth. “ _You will leave and forget this ever happened._ ”

_So powerful. Too powerful._

He knew Finn saw it too, knew he feared it. Feared _them._

“You need to leave Rey. You need to take him and leave.”

And with that, the Jedi turned his heel and stalked off.

Kylo didn’t move. Shocked at the turn of events, shocked that she remained here with him.

_Rey._

“I don’t–”

But Rey was crying. “Don’t you _DARE_ , Kylo Ren. Don’t you DARE tell me you don’t understand.”

She was on him then, straddling his lap while her lips sought his furiously, fingers curled in his hair as his arms wrapped around her on instinct, muscle memory.

_This isn’t real, you cannot be mine._

He gasped then, gasped while she flooded his mind with memories, them. Him taking her every way he could, every way she’d _let_ him. Mouth praying at her cunt like it was life itself.

“Tell me again that I’m not yours.” She hissed into his ear.

His blood _boiled_.

Rey’s did too, and she cared little as he tore her petty nightclothes asunder, grinding down on his already rigid cock, even as he felt the pain shoot through her leg. Kylo flipped her then, turned her in one fluid movement so he loomed over, so…

_So fragile._

The angry bruise stood out more now, painting her leg purple as he contemplated just how small she was, here, in this space. He paused.

Rey snarled.

“You don’t scare me, Kylo Ren.”

_Ben Solo._

She was panting for breath, eyes challenging and dangerous.

“Now _fuck_ me.”

He did not need her to tell him twice, and near instantly his underclothes joined hers in taters too as he sunk into her.

_Fuck._

How could it be that she felt even more perfect like this? How was it that the Force danced between their skin like a current when he felt so grounded it this moment? He pumped in out of her slick pussy agonisingly slowly, savouring each spasm, each moan. Committing it to his memory again, and again.

How could it be that something so sweet did not poison him?

_Because we were made for each other._

He would’ve laughed in her face at that once, would’ve taunted her for such naivety. Would’ve done everything he could to disabuse her of such a childish notion. Now? He pumped into her faster, proving her right with each thrust.

Even so he felt… primal, felt bare under her gaze, felt the need to–

But Rey keened upwards then, teeth sinking painfully into his shoulder as he nearly lost it, thrust into her so deeply he couldn’t believe she canted _into_ him yet more. He was marking her now, nails raking down he back has he lifted her onto his lap, resting one hand on her hips as he lifted her up and down his length, fingers snaking to find that beautiful bundle of nerves, _undo_ her.

“ _Fuck… Kyylooo._ ”

She was nearly incoherent with want now, his little scavenger, nails digging into his shoulder blades, cheeks flushed.

_So beautiful._

“I need you to come for me Rey.”

Needed to _see_ it. Needed her to fall first because he was so close himself.

“Going to…”

He pulled her closer, wanted to catch every works.

“ _Tell me Rey.”_

“Going to make me come!” She tightened then, legs quivering. “I’m coming Kylo, Oh FUCK! I’m coming for you– I’m coming, I’m coming. I–”

“ _FUCK Rey_.”

Kriff that mouth was incredible. Such vulgarities from such a sweet looking girl. His cock spurted then and he jerk arrhythmically into her as she shuddered and whimpered into his flesh. His face rested against her breathless breasts as both of them weathered the shockwaves of pleasure that chased after their release.

He lifted his head up afterwards, still unwilling to disconnect from her, as if she were an apparition. Kylo lifted a hand to trace her cheek, saddened by her own unsure expression. She thought he’d leave her now, run away from the Bond like so many times before, hurt her, _again_. He pressed his lips to her forehead, immersing herself in her thoughts.

_Go with me Rey. I can’t leave without you. I can’t deny this anymore._

Still he couldn’t say those three words, did she understand that he couldn’t say them yet, couldn’t physically get it out?

But his scavenger just pulled him closer, head resting in the juncture between his neck and chin.

“Where will we go?”

“I don’t know. Away from here, from this.”

_This missed fate, this wreck of destinies._

She nodded her assent. “I love you.”

How that pained him, even as it awed him. She could crush him with this power, break him again and again. But she did not.

“I know.” He responded.

_Compassion is strength._

On her left arm, a small dimple.

_You saved me._

He had no idea whose mind that thought had come from.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are greater than what has happened to us. 
> 
> Because we feel pain, we can change.


End file.
